Rebuilding Confidence: 5 Steps to Unlocking Self-Assurance"

My journey to rebuilding myself and rediscovering my confidence. I went from the heights of confidence into a downward spiral full of insecurity and doubt. How I reclaim my confidence after a decision left me depleted and in need of a reset!

On Top of the World

I jumped off a symbolic cliff and moved overseas, living the dream life. What an accomplishment! Initially it did wonders for my confidence! I saved money, learned a language, and got a job in a new country. I had wind in my sails! After the savings dwindled and the job turned out to be totally toxic, I was feeling a little less zest for life. But instead of taking action, I was paraliyzed with fear. Would I find a job? Why did I make this terrible decision? I had an amazing life in NYC! Why did I take this risk?

The Slow Decline

Each month would go by chipping away at my confidence, deepening the insecurities and depriving me of the happiness I deserved. When you lose yourself under an avalanche of self-doubt, the only person that can find you is you. I needed to dig myself out of this dark place.

I came up with a plan:

• Step 1: Learn about myself. What are my natural abilities? What am I better at than most people? Why am I valuable? Why are those valuable to a company? Where did I succeed before? What created doubt? How can I protect myself from those?

• Step 2: Write stuff Down. A great way to learn about yourself is to have uncomfortable conversations with yourself and the best way to do that is by writing it down.

• Step 3: Make tiny goals. When I figured out what I wanted I had a target to work with. The next question was, how do I get there? I set tiny goals that gave me little hits of dopamine to motivate me enough to keep moving.

• Step 4: Took My Time. This is not a race, but a marathon. Be consistent and you will make lasting progress.

• Step 5: Look Back. Why did I lose my groove? What happened? Rinse and Repeat.

Learn About Yourself - Always

I eventually found a new job that lit me up, paid the bills and helped rebuild my confidence. As I wrote and learned more about myself I looked back at successful moments in my life and the not so successful moments. I found the patterns and behaviors that led to each. I described the best version of myself both personally and professionally and oddly by describing that person I realized I was already that person. It doesn’t finish though, the work keeps cycling through as we grow and change, so sharpen your pencils and keep writing.